The Reason
by EWHH its Kenna
Summary: /SasuSaku/ His habit: Get in bed, wrap an arm around her waist, let his chest press against her back. Then sleep. "Do you take Haruno Sakura, to be your wife? Through thick and thin, sickness and health..blahblahblah.." Pause. Nod. "I do." Smirk. I do.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

_(blahblahblah)_ - Memory, Flashback.

Beta read by Kaluki.

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_Could I trust you?_

_Could I trust you enough to catch me when I fall?_

**Could I?**

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_Or... Would I hit the ground__?_

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**The Reason**

("I'll never forget her eyes as she sat there dying, looking at me. When I sleep at night, I can see her. When I wake up, I can see her.")

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_(Sometimes, realization hits you when it's too late.)_

Holding onto the sink, he quivers involuntarily. Sasuke could feel a foreign substance dripping down from his once placid and deadpanned face. His eyes narrowed, almost closed, and a trembling frown replaced. The noh expression he hid behind all those years, it seemed to be shattering.

She was gone. In spite of him, maybe. But, there was only one fact that he couldn't deny...

**It was all his fault.**

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This is a story about a perfect couple. The two beautiful lovers with an amazing relationship. Some attendances to plays, some to parties, quite a few to festivals; the relationship appeared perfect wherever it was seen.

All of it was so perfect, it seemed unrealistic.

But, even some of the marriage counselers that have passed them by in a grocery store, or in a movie, they even accepted the factor; Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Sakura were soul mates.

Ying and Yang.

Meant to be.

**Per contra...**

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Everything was so perfect.

Just so damn_ beautiful._

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**All of it.**

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Her life

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Her love.

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Her heart.

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Everything she cared about.

As well as everything she needed to live.

To be blunt, _plainly perfect._

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Everything mentioned, all of it was flawless.

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Perfect, Flawless.

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Well, only to the human eye.

Tsk. Tsk.

Eyes are one of the easiest deceived.

So, Welcome!

_Welcome to her reason!_

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**For everything about it, however, was just a lie.**

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**-Sakura POV-**

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A beautiful disaster.

This disaster was merely covering my eyes, wanting to leave me only an opaque vision. An opaque vision of the truth, and a clear vision of what I wanted to see; yet, deep down I knew my foolish denial, because I _knew _that it was all just fake.

All of it.

**Phony.**

I lived inside a dreamland, a fairy tale...

Smile.

_("—You may now kiss the bride.")_

... my happily ever after.

-

It's funny actually, I can't even see the truth anymore! From all this lie, from all this fake happiness, I have found nothing but sorrow. Nothing but pain. I have found one thing from this, though.

Him.

Sasuke.

_("I love... you... too.")_

The all high and mighty Uchiha that stands in front of my gate to heaven. The one who thinks he could beat GOD.

_("Who do you think you are, God?" _

_Smirk._

_"Ugh!")_

**Chyeah.** That boy.

Why, then, did she love this inconsistent, cold, ruthless, venomous, jackass, arrogant, foolish, blind (metaphorically), mute, cocky, vain, heinous, did she mention jackass?, heartless, bastard?!

Oh, how she loved that question from Naruto.

The first time she heard it, she fumbled for her words. She didn't know why!

However, if you have ever met Naruto (even heard of him!) you know how damn **persistent **he is. So, reluctantly she hesitated with an answer:

"Because he's Sasuke-kun."

Frown.

_(The Uchiha stared at her, deadpanned and relentless; "What do you want?"_

"You."

"..."_ Sasuke frowned. "...Hn.")_

Naruto sat there, dumbfounded.

"Sasuke-kun is Sasuke-kun. There is only one Sasuke-kun in this world, Naruto. That Sasuke-kun is meant for me."

_("I do.")_

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Just all those silly lies.

-

I'm some doll.

Ironic; at first I was one of the porcelain dolls you see in many shop windows. The beauty and elegance. The intricate designing.

As time grew on with the marriage though, the Sasuke-kun I had known turned out to be different with it's age. The longer we were together, the further we grew apart; his life still bent on revenge, my life still bent on futile love.

The ironic part, which you might be wondering, is over the years, I turned from a porcelain doll to a Raggedy Ann. The ones that are missing eyes, have holes and tears. The proof of wearisome and trouble times, the proof of growing sadness.

The proof of becoming broken.

I was a doll, that could be tossed away with any given moment.

_("You're too weak. Your body's too fragile for the life of a ninja.")_

As a doll, I felt as though my face became that of a noh.

No emotions to present.

_("Emotions are the epitome of weakness, Sakura.")_

Just for my dearest Sasuke-kun, I turned myself into some uncaring monster. I turned myself into a weak mirror-image of him.

Sad smile.

_Just for my dearest Sasuke-kun..._

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So, with the years, came the loss of my ideal love.

Sasuke's care he held from day one; over time it lessened and lessened.

It might just be me, though. Maybe he's just _obviously _too busy with his life to interfere with his **wife.**

On days, most days now, I get to have the honor watching him brush straight past me to our room, as if I was worthless. As if I was—

_("I was worried," he said bluntly, then quickly looked away._

_Smile._

_Sasuke looked at her, "WHAT?!"_

_Giggle. Blush. Grin.__)_

Frown.

Sasuke-kun.

He's my Sasuke-kun!

Sad smile.

Mine.

Mine.

And he cares.

...

_cared._

—Nothing.

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Every morning.  
Every afternoon.  
Every night.

Every minute.  
Every second.  
Every moment in my life.

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Us together, the rivaled couple against many, the perfect couple.

The "meant-to-be" couple.

_The soul mates._

Haruno Sakura to Uchiha Sasuke?!

Someone like me to someone like him?

No.

**Impossible.**

He is the perfection of this, this scam!

This hoax!

He makes up for everything I lack, which would represent a perfect couple. Yet, he has obtained far more than I ever could. The only thing I'm sure he finds me useful for now, is a baby maker.

Sigh.

Sasuke.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Sasuke-kun.

My Sasuke-kun.

Glare.

_("Thank you.")_

Frown.

_("Here." He handed her a cherry blossom._

_"A-Ah! Thank you, Sasuke-kun!"_

_Just a blossom could mean the world.)_

Dry laugh.

_("S-Sak-ura!")_

I am only the tool he uses, for whatever he can use me for.

His puppet.

_((I've got no strings,  
To hold me down.  
To make me fret, or make me frown!))_

Not fucking human, a puppet.

Labels can go through this world within mere seconds.

I was stereotyped as a beautiful woman who was higher than anyone else.

Hah! I was what every woman craved to be?! Women around the world sought to live my life?!

**Tch.** Women.

All I wanted to be was human.

_("Emotions. Everyone experiences them, especially pain. Pain makes us human, Sasuke-kun. And if being a human is weak to you—"_

_"Then what, Sakura?!"_

_"—then, I'm not sure how to love you, Sasuke."_

_No prefix._

_No smirk, but frown.)_

Just a human in this big fat stupid world.

Is that too hard to ask for?

Yes.

_(Smug smirk. "Sakura, you're annoying.")_

**Yes, it is.**

-

"Sasuke-kun!" I yelled at him as he walked through the door.

No reply.

_Hah! How predictable,_ I scoffed inside my head. _Lovely, lovely, Sasuke-kun! _I stared at him, and then followed his footsteps slowly. I'd rather take my time to start an argument; I rather hate feuds. But, it makes him happy. It makes my oh so loving husband happy.

Sasuke loves to see me angry.

I poke the ajar door to an opening wide enough for me. Entering, I see Sasuke staring at the wall, deadpanned. So catatonic. Maybe this was what he was meant to be; unhappy, useless, dead.

But maybe I could change him. That's what I always reassured myself with.

_("There's only one Sasuke-kun in this world!")_

With that, every one has a meaning in this world. No person left unknown, unscathed, unhurt.

Slowly though, he proved my first guess–that he was catatonic–to be wrong, turning his head to stare at me. Onyx eyes met jade. Sasuke always managed to stare at his victims blankly, to either scare and intimidate them, or because he didn't know his manners. Sasuke did just that too, he stared into my eyes, oh so blankly!

It was intimidating.

I was scared of him.

Sasuke-kun.

My Sasuke-kun.

Blank.

_("It's rude to stare, neh, Sasuke-kun!"_

_Smirk. "You're too..."_

_Fumble for words._

_ "...Pretty.")_

Where is my Sasuke-kun?

-

You know when you've met someone for the first time, ran into someone at a grocery store, or just barely know them?

OK! You do, of course!

Well, you know the people who stare straight at you... Actually, straight through you, moreover. They stare at you, and you can just _tell _they want to ask you:

"What the fuck do you want?"

Experience is a bitch.

Sasuke stared at me with that look.

But, I am to good. At first I was too immature, insensitive, and innocent to understand what he wanted when he looked at me. Yet, I fooled him this time, years of knowing him, I knew exactly what he meant.

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"Where were you?" I asked carrying an angry tone. Paranoid to hell with him staring at me like that.

Sasuke's eyes seemed to gain life back in them again, as he shook his head out of thought. While sigh escaped his thin lips, as he let his bastard-side take over, and decided he preferred not to answer.

_("Where were you?" Sasuke was too blunt when he talked to her. Too demanding._

_"It's a se-c-ret, Sasuke-kun!"_

_Too protective.  
_

_Glare. Frown. Glare. Glare. GLARE!_

_Too jealous.)_

"Neh, Sasuke-kun..."

"..?"

"Where is my Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke looked at me, as if I were a complete idiot, again he chose not to answer. This time, he didn't answer not because he didn't feel like it. He didn't answer because he didn't know how.

He couldn't.

My eyes were furious, and Sasuke felt the urge to smirk.

_("UCHIHA SASUKE!"_

_Uh-oh. Full name. No prefix._

_"..." Smirk._

_"WH—"_

_Sasuke stared, "You're so... cute when you angry." _

_Heavy breathing, "GO AWAY UCHIHA!")_

"Husbands aren't—"

"Don't tell me what I'm suppose to do, Sakura." Sasuke cut me off.

I paused. That was such a foreign sounding thing to come from his mouth, 'Sakura.' As though I were paralyzed, my anger seemed to get under control for the moment.

I couldn't tell either, because Sasuke seemed upset when my angry stopped.

That annoyed me.

"HUSBANDS DON'T TREAT THEIR SPOUSES LIKE—"

Can you believe this.

He cut me off.

Again!

HE FUCKING CUT ME OFF AGAIN!!

Glare. Glare. Glare! GLARE!

Sasuke scoffed, "—TRASH?!"

"..." I was at a loss of words.

"Well What the FUCK were you expecting, Sakura? LOVE?!" A dry laugh escaped his lips. Some dry sadistic laugh.

Frown. "HOW DO YOU THINK I COULD EXPECT LOVE FROM _YOU_, IF YOU NEVER EVEN HAD A _HEART_,UCHIHA?"

Sasuke glared furiously at me, but at the same time amusement sparked in his eyes. Sasuke broke the chain, and found the epitome of my anger. Oh boy, did that Uchiha strike a nerve.

But I was unpredictable. A ticking time bomb. I loved myself for that too.

Because, I could kill Sasuke with only a few words. Those were to be coming up soon too.

"Itachi-KUN. _Was_. Right."

I made it sound like I knew Itachi, which I didn't exactly know him too well. I met him a few times, once on a mission with Naruto and Kakashi. Once when I was on a solo mission, which I unluckily ran into him (It was before Sasuke left.)

Also, Itachi came to me one time (During Sasuke's departure.)

Each of these times I had met him, he seemed to try and test my intellectual ability. Maybe to just have someone to converse with, but all the same I had talked to him. Nothing intimate of course, I wouldn't dare get too close to him. My personality seemed to amuse him too.

That I was easily angered, that I was too innocent, that I was so, so—

Sasuke's glare continued, somewhat shocked from my sudden out burst after all these years.

—So, Sakura.

_("Tell me Sakura-san, why couldn't you stop him?"_

_Frown. "..."  
_

_"When Sasuke learns the truth, about this village, he will break."_

_"..!" Shock.  
_

_"I'll visit you, Sakura-san one more time."_

_Frown. "Why do you test me, Itachi-san?"_

_Expressionless. "You are all that Sasuke has left.")_

"All this revenge, all this hatred. You're nothing..."

Well, kinda bad thing to bring up. Itachi was a taboo.

Giggle.

_(A ferret sat on the bed._

_Frown, "Sakura. Get that OUT of this house."_

_"But I love him!" Cry. "He's s-so cute, and cuddly a-and!"_

_"OUT."_

_Cry harder.)_

Sakura paused waiting to give the Uchiha the final blow.

"You are by far, lower than Itachi."

It would be one thing to say that to someone else. But to say it to Sasuke.

Uh-oh.

I made a huge mistake and I was loving it. For I did it to my Sasuke-kun.

Sasuke-kun.

My Sasuke-kun.

Smile. Tears. Laugh.

My Sasuke-kun that I love.

I pulled the last string.

_((I've got no strings,  
So I have fun.  
I'm not tied up to anyone!))_

I had suddenly hit the wall with brute force, as I heard my right arm's bone shatter. My back struck with foreign pain, as I coughed trying to take in air. I wasn't use to this.

My body was too frail.

I was too weak.

I was was porcelain, fragile, breakable.

_I was meant to break._

That's why we were the perfect couple.

Sasuke was the one who was meant to break me.

"Take. That. BACK." Sasuke hissed.

I smiled, "I hate you, Sasuke-kun."

_("I love you, Sasuke-kun!")_

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**I guess the Uchiha was scared of the truth.**

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Pause.

Smile.

Shiver.

(_Expressionless. "You are all that Sasuke has left.")_

Sasuke cringed.

I cried.

_("When Sasuke learns the truth... he will break.")_

"Or can you just not handle the truth?"

I cried for my Sasuke-kun.

I was broken and useless to him now, but I was able to show him everything.

Show him the truth.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry! CRY!

Glare. Glare. Glare. Glare! GLARE!

No. No. No. No! NO!

Sasuke was frozen as I tried to take his grasp off my neck, my breaths were becoming more ragged with every second.

"I-I h-h-h-h-hate you, Sa-su-ke—," Pause.

No more air.

Sasuke's hand loosened his grasp, as his eyes expressed something so foreign.

Gasp. "—kun."

Sasuke was out of the trance.

Frown.

My hands travel on top of his, and I force his hand off me so I receive full amounts of air.

Frown.

"I am getting a drink." He slammed the door shut behind him.

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I looked at myself through the mirror.

Everything.

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Flawless to the human eye.

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Everything.

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Every couple who wished to be us. Every person who wished to be him or me. Everyone who could not see me. Everyone who could not see what I could.

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**Lies**: (n.) a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

They fog up your vision, so maybe, you are forever lost. Forever lost to never see the truth again.

To be blissfully ignorant in your own little world.

_In your happily ever after._

-

But as I continued to look into the mirror, that rest above the sink, all I could see was my _back_. My face looked down as the _blood_ in the picture covered through the whole sink. As the _tears_ dropped slowly in.

As Sasuke stood watching as though he did not care.

Who was I kidding.

As he _never_ cared.

And the mirror would _never_ let me see my face.

Just my _back_.

How _I turned my back on myself_.

How _I stabbed myself in the back_.

_How I hurt my Sasuke-kun._

_How I broke._

Smile.

I lied to myself again.

I still love my Sasuke-kun.

I still love him so much.

_("Do you Haruno Sakura take Uchiha Sasuke to be your lawfully wedded husband, through thick and thin, sickness and doubt..blahblahblah.." _

_Nod. "I do." Smile. I do.)_

I love him.

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Quiet.

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Seemingly abandoned.

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_(Walk through the door, he would lie next to his Sakura. Press his stomach against her flawless back, wrap an arm around her small waist. Just into the perfect fit._

_Just like any perfect couple._

_Then, he'd fall asleep.)_

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_("I love you Sasuke-kun!")_

_("I will always be there for you Sasuke-kun!")_

_("I will always love you Sasuke-kun!")_

_("I love you with all of my heart!") _

("I hate you, Sasuke-kun.")

_-_

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_((Hi-ho the me-ri-o!  
I'm as happy as can be!  
I want the world to know,  
Nothing ever worries me!))_

_-_

_-_

_("Good morning Sasuke-kun!" I said smiling happily, as if the fight never had happened._

_Quickly he brushed past me, "work" he quietly murmured._

_"I love you."_

_"Aa."_

_"Bye!" _

_Gone.)_

_-_

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**-Normal POV-**

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The door opened, as an eerie noise escaped the hinge. Uchiha Sasuke walked in softly, buzzed and even forgiving. Buzzed and pissed.

**(Uchiha Sasuke...)**

Buzzed and sad.

Buzzed and he missed her.

Buzzed and he was the one who was sorry.

Sasuke frowned as the house was too quiet compared to normal, but it was already a little past midnight and he was certain that his wife was asleep. Sasuke would go up the stairs, climb into bed, and lie against her with her in his hands.

Just like perfect couples do.

**(... The jury has come to pronounce you, Uchiha Sasuke...)**

Then he'd fall asleep.

Sasuke stood there inside the hallway looking towards their bedroom. As a sigh of relief escaped his lips, funny that he was feeling better, and he starts the journey to the end of the hall to their room.

Closed door. Sakura must have been asleep. The door was always closed when she slept, fear of monsters of ghosts, whichever.

Fear of.. him?

Sasuke opens the door, as he walks to the bed, takes off the shirt which reeks of alcohol. His socks follow, as he lies down on the bed he turns towards her and lets his arm wrap onto air.

Air.

Air.

Air. Air. Air. Air. Air! AIR!

Sasuke paused at the discomfort of her body not under his arm, or even against his chest. Standing up, Sasuke frowned as he walked up to the light switch and turned it on.

Blank.

Everything of her presence ever living in this room, seemed to be gone.

No undergarments on the floor, no notebooks lying on the night stand, nothing.

The only thing left was the picture of her making a V-sign and winking at the camera, as he held her by the waist. But, that was before he even left Konoha. Before he married her.

When they were still kids.

Sasuke shook his head in annoyance, as he walked towards the bathroom. Feeling as though he were dreaming, Sasuke figured that he could splash some water on his face, and clear out these inconsistent thoughts. Maybe wake him up from this awkward dream he's been having for many years.

The dream that he lost Sakura.

Tch. Lose Sakura?

That was something that Sasuke would never believe. Sakura was his. Only his.

_(Smile. Cry. Bites lip. Smiles. "I love you with all my heart!")_

**Only his.**

-

Blood flooded parts of the sink, as the mirror also covered in blood. A giant crack, as though someone punched it, let more blood escape. Yet, there was one thing left for Sasuke from her.

Writing on the mirror.

"I'm sorry."

-

Frown. "SAKURA!"

_("Do you Uchiha Sasuke take Haruno Sakura to be your lawfully wedded wife, through thick and thin, sickness and doubt..blahblahblah.."_

_Pause. Did he?_

_Nod. "I do." Slight smile. I do. Smirk.)_

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**-Sakura POV-**

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I broke, living a lie.

A simple lie, as a matter of fact.

Who knew that a lie could kill a person?

To drive them _insane_.

To make them **want** to kill themselves.

To keep them from being able to show the truth.

I laugh though because I love him. Maybe that's what kept me alive all those years.

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My fairy tale.

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The beautiful disaster.

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Perfect.

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With a new flaw.

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The heart.

-

_((I had strings,  
But now I'm free.  
There are no strings on me!))_

* * *

("Holding on makes us stronger. But, sometimes in life, we get stronger by letting go.")

**End**

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XUchihaSakuraX

**Review, please. (:**

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